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For the past few weeks I've been preparing for my reading tonight at Hibiscus Day Spa. I didn't truly have a structured reading before. Meaning with a theme. I felt like my books were compiled in a theme so I'd already done the bulk of the work. However, in light of breast cancer awareness month & domestic violence month being dedicated to in the month of October, my heart leaned toward a themed reading. In a spa! Whats better than that? I imagined how I'd do it and instantly I lined up 16 poems that would suit the night. The good and the bad...its the essence of life. No?!
So tonight I'm prepared...not by memory but...by purpose to send a message that drives me to be who and how I am.
What you see is ever evolving but you will see nothing less.
I thank everyone who supports me and lok forward to many new faces tonight.
God, guide my path as you desire...pleasing & ever emanating your goodness.
Love Lady Onika. :) (thanks Janine...I sooo love that tag)
About a see through soul
- Onika Pascal
- Brooklyn, New York, Trinidad and Tobago
- I'm a go-getter, single mom, career minded, aspiring writer. Everyone has a story to tell ...writing, makes it all come to life. As a silent poet and lover of using words to express my thoughts and see through soul, I'd like to think that if words came gift wrapped, everyday would be my birthday! I believe that there is no pause button to life or living, and that a dream is placed in all of us. My vision is to empower single mothers to garner a confidence and positivity within themselves to pursue their dreams. My mission is to share my journey to create the walls of confidence...one mother at a time.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
When the going gets tough, the tough get going...upward ever
With every post I would reiterate that my blog is geared to empowering single mothers and coupled/married mothers to pursue that dream that's building within them. Along with my see through soul and journey with my writing... all the things I'm doing and aiming to become as a single mom, I decided to seek out other mothers (single or not) who are doing just that, and I've found Terryl DeMendonca... Hope the interview inspires you and gives you the confidence to recognize that you are not alone in the struggles, but can make your dreams come true. Enjoy the interview.
To learn more about Terryl, please visit her at www.misunderstoodyouth.org and www.terrylebony.com
1)Hi Terryl, welcome to my blog. Can you share with my readers a little about yourself?
[Terryl De Mendonca] My name is Terryl Ebony De Mendonca and I am the single mother of a 14 year old young man named Devon. And I have been a single mom for all of his life.
2) What were your expectations of raising a child as a single mother?
[Terryl De Mendonca] From the time I had him at the age of 19, I knew I was young yes, but wanted to grow with him. I knew that it would be challenging but I also knew I was not going to be a statistic. I have had to quit jobs, get fired from jobs which lead me to create my own entrepreneur opportunities so that I could have a steady income. I was very determined to do whatever was necessary to give him a life better than the one I had. I introduced him to activities such as swimming and piano at the age of 5. At the age of 7, he lived in a house and had a backyard to play in. These things and more are all the things that I knew I wanted for my child and no one obstacle would
stand in my way.
3) On your journey as a single mom, what would you say was your happiest of moments thus far?
[Terryl De Mendonca] Every positive step my son takes towards becoming a well rounded young man leaves me overjoyed (each graduation, every new word used in a correct sentence, every defining aspect of his maturation, every time HE sets a goal and achieves it, etc)
4) In adverse, what was or are your worst moment(s)?
[Terryl De Mendonca] There are two. The first would be, the years of seeing the heartbreak in his eyes because he is missing and wanting his father’s love, attention and acceptance. The second would be, when I know he is not living up to his full potential (i.e.: not doing homework, therefore receiving a low mark on his report)
5) You’ve mentioned that you ventured into your own entrepreneur ventures. And I understand that you have founded The Misunderstood Youth Development Center. Can you share with my readers what it is all about?
[Terryl De Mendonca] Well, as I mentioned before, my son is a product of a split family. He has been subjected to so many life changes (changes in parental structure, schools, towns, friends, etc.). He didn’t adapt to change very well. He got angry and distant and it started to affect his schoolwork and our relationship. Although he shared a good communicable relationship with his mother, it wasn’t enough. His communication with his father was very minimal. He needed to talk to someone and needed to know that he wasn’t the only child experiencing these things and going through these changes. Devon is my son.
It was when he got suspended from school and his grades dropped drastically that I was at my wits end. The schools wanted to place him in a “special ED” program. His father remained around but mostly inactive and inconsistent so he didn’t understand Devon and the importance of consistency in a child’s life. Every child is different and I found that counseling was able to help Devon put things into perspective. He still has a hard time with change but now he has a better chance of dealing with it with positive results. Devon became more focused and started to improve in school and at home. We also got him involved in different activities which also became a very critical part of his positive behavior. Although he is doing better,everyday is a battle.
Through my experiences, I was able to take a look around and realize that there are so many other children like Devon that are “misunderstood”. Children need encouragement, a neutral voice of reason, a place of comfort and guidance, activities and academic support. After a little research, I realized that counseling and peer group sessions for youth is not easily available or widely known throughout the five boroughs of New York (especially minorities and the underprivileged). So in 2005 I formed The Misunderstood Youth Development Center (MYDC) with a mission to help understand, develop and stimulate the minds of our youth.
6)What is the core purpose of MYDC?
[Terryl De Mendonca] MYDC’s core purpose is to open up the lines of communication for youth, helping them acquire a better understanding of life and people. Therefore, they are able to cope with the various trials and tribulations life often throws their way, positively and productively. MYDC serves youth ages 5-24. Most of these children are exposed to various confusing and difficult life altering experiences. So, we are there to provide the necessary guidance and leadership qualities so they can make positive decisions while succeeding in life as they head to junior high school, high school, college, the work world and family/social life.
7) What positive feedback, from your exeperience, can you share with single mothers, who may be reading my blog, to follow their dreams?
[Terryl De Mendonca] Honestly, I didn't know this was my dream. My dream found me (smile). I had a child who had an issue and I figured that if he had that issue so did others. I didn't feel it was right for kids to feel that uncomfortable expressing themselves and having to bottle it up inside,
then when released it would come out in a very negative way -- which again, is why MYDC was formed. This has become my mission and although fulfilling my dream is still in the making, I am well on my way. I am writing a book called, Losing Love, Having Faith & Finding Hope, with a message to encourage parents. I also have an online radio show, "Living in Reality with Terryl Ebony" to encourage parents and families. The success of all these endeavors will lead to my dreams coming true.
So to all you single mothers out there, the road is often long and bumpy but don't give up. You may have to do some things that you may not want to, to keep your child on course. Don't feel guilty; it's called tough love. They WILL need it! Keep your child in activities that will constantly stimulate their mind and have them surrounded by positive things and people.
As far as your personal dreams and aspirations, DON'T FORGET ABOUT IT! Forgetting your dreams is like giving up on yourself and you simply can't do that. You may have to table it for a while or take it slow depending on your circumstances but your dreams should never be forgotten. You can't make your child happy unless you too are happy. When they see you moving with full force, it will encourage them to do the same. If you give up, how can you teach and tell them to press on. That would be hypocritical.
You should surround yourself with positive people and positive energy. It is very therapeutic for your emotional state, which will lead to your physical state.
DO NOT SETTLE. Settling is not an option. Whatever you want to be, do the research and you start your journey! Don't think it will be an easy road because it won't and at times you may want to give up but you can't. Why? Because giving up is not an option either! You deserve to have your dreams come true just as much as any one else. But you have to put in the work to make it happen.
And last but definitely not least, PRAY ON IT!
8) What encourages you daily?
[Terryl De Mendonca] There are many answers to this question.
1. Seeing how my son mimics my professional ambitions.
2. Knowing that I have the ability to affect positive changes in someone's life.
3. Seeing how many people look to me for inspiration and advice.
4. Knowing that when the kids in my program see me, they smile; they have something to look forward to and someone to look up to.
9) Where do you see yourself 5 -10 years from now?
[Terryl De Mendonca]
1. Right now I hold programs out of school buildings. In those years allotted, I intend to have a building secured for children to and receive the guidance that they don't receive at home or to enhance what they already have.
2. I plan to be a published author and motivational speaker for parents, families and youth.
3. I would like to produce a televised youth program for kids to speak out and be heard.
4. I would like to host or co-host a televised or radio show stemmed from my current online radio show "Living in Reality with Terryl Ebony".
5. Last but not least, a proud parent of a college grad!
10) If given the chance, what would you change in your journey as a single mother?
[Terryl De Mendonca] This is a hard question for me to answer only because sometimes the truth hurts and it's even harder for others to digest. But, anyone who knows me knows that I am a brutally honest person :). So, if I could change anything as a single mother it would be not to allow my son's father to come and go out of my son's life as he saw fit. Although it was told to me years ago, I didn't see it because I figured seeing him sometimes would be better than not seeing him at all. But it was actually the opposite because every time he saw him, he got his hopes up that he would finally stick around and of course that didn't happen. So everyone closely connected to my son had to deal with his disappointment and the way he displayed it. So I now realize that the revolving door parent hurts the child more than the parent that the child never knows. So, his father would have to choose, PERMANENT in or permanently OUT?!?!
11) As a wind down question, as a single mother, what is your ideal dream vacation? :)
[Terryl De Mendonca] Well this is easy, a cruise with the man of my dreams. :)
To learn more about Terryl, please visit her at www.misunderstoodyouth.org and www.terrylebony.com
1)Hi Terryl, welcome to my blog. Can you share with my readers a little about yourself?
[Terryl De Mendonca] My name is Terryl Ebony De Mendonca and I am the single mother of a 14 year old young man named Devon. And I have been a single mom for all of his life.
2) What were your expectations of raising a child as a single mother?
[Terryl De Mendonca] From the time I had him at the age of 19, I knew I was young yes, but wanted to grow with him. I knew that it would be challenging but I also knew I was not going to be a statistic. I have had to quit jobs, get fired from jobs which lead me to create my own entrepreneur opportunities so that I could have a steady income. I was very determined to do whatever was necessary to give him a life better than the one I had. I introduced him to activities such as swimming and piano at the age of 5. At the age of 7, he lived in a house and had a backyard to play in. These things and more are all the things that I knew I wanted for my child and no one obstacle would
stand in my way.
3) On your journey as a single mom, what would you say was your happiest of moments thus far?
[Terryl De Mendonca] Every positive step my son takes towards becoming a well rounded young man leaves me overjoyed (each graduation, every new word used in a correct sentence, every defining aspect of his maturation, every time HE sets a goal and achieves it, etc)
4) In adverse, what was or are your worst moment(s)?
[Terryl De Mendonca] There are two. The first would be, the years of seeing the heartbreak in his eyes because he is missing and wanting his father’s love, attention and acceptance. The second would be, when I know he is not living up to his full potential (i.e.: not doing homework, therefore receiving a low mark on his report)
5) You’ve mentioned that you ventured into your own entrepreneur ventures. And I understand that you have founded The Misunderstood Youth Development Center. Can you share with my readers what it is all about?
[Terryl De Mendonca] Well, as I mentioned before, my son is a product of a split family. He has been subjected to so many life changes (changes in parental structure, schools, towns, friends, etc.). He didn’t adapt to change very well. He got angry and distant and it started to affect his schoolwork and our relationship. Although he shared a good communicable relationship with his mother, it wasn’t enough. His communication with his father was very minimal. He needed to talk to someone and needed to know that he wasn’t the only child experiencing these things and going through these changes. Devon is my son.
It was when he got suspended from school and his grades dropped drastically that I was at my wits end. The schools wanted to place him in a “special ED” program. His father remained around but mostly inactive and inconsistent so he didn’t understand Devon and the importance of consistency in a child’s life. Every child is different and I found that counseling was able to help Devon put things into perspective. He still has a hard time with change but now he has a better chance of dealing with it with positive results. Devon became more focused and started to improve in school and at home. We also got him involved in different activities which also became a very critical part of his positive behavior. Although he is doing better,everyday is a battle.
Through my experiences, I was able to take a look around and realize that there are so many other children like Devon that are “misunderstood”. Children need encouragement, a neutral voice of reason, a place of comfort and guidance, activities and academic support. After a little research, I realized that counseling and peer group sessions for youth is not easily available or widely known throughout the five boroughs of New York (especially minorities and the underprivileged). So in 2005 I formed The Misunderstood Youth Development Center (MYDC) with a mission to help understand, develop and stimulate the minds of our youth.
6)What is the core purpose of MYDC?
[Terryl De Mendonca] MYDC’s core purpose is to open up the lines of communication for youth, helping them acquire a better understanding of life and people. Therefore, they are able to cope with the various trials and tribulations life often throws their way, positively and productively. MYDC serves youth ages 5-24. Most of these children are exposed to various confusing and difficult life altering experiences. So, we are there to provide the necessary guidance and leadership qualities so they can make positive decisions while succeeding in life as they head to junior high school, high school, college, the work world and family/social life.
7) What positive feedback, from your exeperience, can you share with single mothers, who may be reading my blog, to follow their dreams?
[Terryl De Mendonca] Honestly, I didn't know this was my dream. My dream found me (smile). I had a child who had an issue and I figured that if he had that issue so did others. I didn't feel it was right for kids to feel that uncomfortable expressing themselves and having to bottle it up inside,
then when released it would come out in a very negative way -- which again, is why MYDC was formed. This has become my mission and although fulfilling my dream is still in the making, I am well on my way. I am writing a book called, Losing Love, Having Faith & Finding Hope, with a message to encourage parents. I also have an online radio show, "Living in Reality with Terryl Ebony" to encourage parents and families. The success of all these endeavors will lead to my dreams coming true.
So to all you single mothers out there, the road is often long and bumpy but don't give up. You may have to do some things that you may not want to, to keep your child on course. Don't feel guilty; it's called tough love. They WILL need it! Keep your child in activities that will constantly stimulate their mind and have them surrounded by positive things and people.
As far as your personal dreams and aspirations, DON'T FORGET ABOUT IT! Forgetting your dreams is like giving up on yourself and you simply can't do that. You may have to table it for a while or take it slow depending on your circumstances but your dreams should never be forgotten. You can't make your child happy unless you too are happy. When they see you moving with full force, it will encourage them to do the same. If you give up, how can you teach and tell them to press on. That would be hypocritical.
You should surround yourself with positive people and positive energy. It is very therapeutic for your emotional state, which will lead to your physical state.
DO NOT SETTLE. Settling is not an option. Whatever you want to be, do the research and you start your journey! Don't think it will be an easy road because it won't and at times you may want to give up but you can't. Why? Because giving up is not an option either! You deserve to have your dreams come true just as much as any one else. But you have to put in the work to make it happen.
And last but definitely not least, PRAY ON IT!
8) What encourages you daily?
[Terryl De Mendonca] There are many answers to this question.
1. Seeing how my son mimics my professional ambitions.
2. Knowing that I have the ability to affect positive changes in someone's life.
3. Seeing how many people look to me for inspiration and advice.
4. Knowing that when the kids in my program see me, they smile; they have something to look forward to and someone to look up to.
9) Where do you see yourself 5 -10 years from now?
[Terryl De Mendonca]
1. Right now I hold programs out of school buildings. In those years allotted, I intend to have a building secured for children to and receive the guidance that they don't receive at home or to enhance what they already have.
2. I plan to be a published author and motivational speaker for parents, families and youth.
3. I would like to produce a televised youth program for kids to speak out and be heard.
4. I would like to host or co-host a televised or radio show stemmed from my current online radio show "Living in Reality with Terryl Ebony".
5. Last but not least, a proud parent of a college grad!
10) If given the chance, what would you change in your journey as a single mother?
[Terryl De Mendonca] This is a hard question for me to answer only because sometimes the truth hurts and it's even harder for others to digest. But, anyone who knows me knows that I am a brutally honest person :). So, if I could change anything as a single mother it would be not to allow my son's father to come and go out of my son's life as he saw fit. Although it was told to me years ago, I didn't see it because I figured seeing him sometimes would be better than not seeing him at all. But it was actually the opposite because every time he saw him, he got his hopes up that he would finally stick around and of course that didn't happen. So everyone closely connected to my son had to deal with his disappointment and the way he displayed it. So I now realize that the revolving door parent hurts the child more than the parent that the child never knows. So, his father would have to choose, PERMANENT in or permanently OUT?!?!
11) As a wind down question, as a single mother, what is your ideal dream vacation? :)
[Terryl De Mendonca] Well this is easy, a cruise with the man of my dreams. :)
Sunday, November 1, 2009
By George, I think I've got it ... NOT!!!
If I can scream from the pits of my lungs and have the frustration that's building inside me, let loose and dispel into the air, I'd be happy.
Ahhhhhh!!!! Anything worth having is worth working for. There goes that saying again, the one I never truly used but heard a few times and it sunk it on the late half. I've been working hard. Working at the LSAT's AGAIN. I took it last year (to see how I'd do, something I found out later that I never should've done) and I wasn't pleased with my score. I mean, a perfectionist is never really satisfied with anything less than what they set their hearts out on. However, last year I dealt with so much personal matters that left me literally queasy in the stomach from all the roller coaster of emotions that ran a number on me. How I did it, I have no clue...but I survived.
What made me go at it again? The fact that I've graduated and have no midterms, research papers, finals and the likes, and matters with my books being released and promoted to coincide with my full time employed position, re-taking the LSAT's can have my full attention...or so I thought. The every day bustle of life is still hectic and I am actually studying for the LSAT's again...but mannnnnnnnnnn when I tell you, this thing is no easy feat to accomplish. Just when I think I've gotten the gist of "games"...I lose my mind when I come across one that makes me want to pull my eyeballs out.
But, without the LSAT's I really can't make another step into entering law school. Yes folks, it is my dream and desire to be a law student in the Fall of 2010. So I'm working my tail off to get there. Nothing in life comes easy, and nothing for me is definitely handed on a silver platter, so I go at it, day and night. This is MY dream and I have to put in the work to make it realized.
Though I'm feeling like I'm ready to scream...its only because I want this to go perfectly well, and well nothing in life is perfect. But I'm going through with this all the way. Its exciting.
Only thing I'm going to do different after I post this blog, is slow down and let it all happen the way it should. I can't control everything.
So on a positive note, I applaud and encourage everyone to keep at it. Whatever it takes (legal and positive) to get a step closer to your dreams, go for it. Eat breathe and sleep with it .. this is your life, take charge of it.
Love ya much ... good luck to you on your endeavors
Ahhhhhh!!!! Anything worth having is worth working for. There goes that saying again, the one I never truly used but heard a few times and it sunk it on the late half. I've been working hard. Working at the LSAT's AGAIN. I took it last year (to see how I'd do, something I found out later that I never should've done) and I wasn't pleased with my score. I mean, a perfectionist is never really satisfied with anything less than what they set their hearts out on. However, last year I dealt with so much personal matters that left me literally queasy in the stomach from all the roller coaster of emotions that ran a number on me. How I did it, I have no clue...but I survived.
What made me go at it again? The fact that I've graduated and have no midterms, research papers, finals and the likes, and matters with my books being released and promoted to coincide with my full time employed position, re-taking the LSAT's can have my full attention...or so I thought. The every day bustle of life is still hectic and I am actually studying for the LSAT's again...but mannnnnnnnnnn when I tell you, this thing is no easy feat to accomplish. Just when I think I've gotten the gist of "games"...I lose my mind when I come across one that makes me want to pull my eyeballs out.
But, without the LSAT's I really can't make another step into entering law school. Yes folks, it is my dream and desire to be a law student in the Fall of 2010. So I'm working my tail off to get there. Nothing in life comes easy, and nothing for me is definitely handed on a silver platter, so I go at it, day and night. This is MY dream and I have to put in the work to make it realized.
Though I'm feeling like I'm ready to scream...its only because I want this to go perfectly well, and well nothing in life is perfect. But I'm going through with this all the way. Its exciting.
Only thing I'm going to do different after I post this blog, is slow down and let it all happen the way it should. I can't control everything.
So on a positive note, I applaud and encourage everyone to keep at it. Whatever it takes (legal and positive) to get a step closer to your dreams, go for it. Eat breathe and sleep with it .. this is your life, take charge of it.
Love ya much ... good luck to you on your endeavors
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Slowing down to the speed of love
Now and again my blog will trek back to being that "see through soul". I promise to continue to bring you uplifting blogs and inspirational blogs to go after your dreams...but I break down in my own mindset and will tell you what's taking place within that world inside my head.
Every now and again my heart does this betrayal thing, to self. From all the trials and challenges, it develops this resilient courage to stand firm, shield itself from distortion and any chance of falling, again. And then without warning it does this catapult into mid air, soar, get giddy, tickle itself, smile at 'him' and then plunges head first...no, no, heart first into this fantasy of a possibility and I buckle and falter. What in Jesus' name is that about?
With the 'him', its something unexplainable so I don't blog about it...it'd pass on its own...I think. Honestly its more than but I can't put my finger on it that I just leave it alone.
Some time ago, I've read the book, "Slowing Down To The Speed of Love" by Joseph Bailey, M.A., L.P. I read it while coming out of a very heartbreaking situation. I never really label it as a relationship, for that would constitute boundaries and roles and I'm guessing at this point there wasn't any. However, there was something deep that needed forgiveness, or else I probably wouldn't have molded into the person "after" the issues exploded.
But I had to begin with me. The book is pretty much a tool to guide couples and individuals into what it takes to keep love alive. To look deep within themselves to forgive, and know what forgiveness is (as if the bible didn't explain it to us, but we can always use a reminder). I love the book. I look into its pages every time my heart does this circus act of somersaults and jabs whenever it feels the need to prove a point. The point that I too need that timeless love...as Bailey discusses in one of his chapters.
It is profound...the way he explained it. And with his description I clutched the page a bit harder and realized that I am missing something ... that person to share it with. I want to give it unconditionally, watch it continuously grow, watch insecurity fade in the backdrop, listen to him, talk with him deeply, from my heart and appreciate him in every moment as I would want him with me.
Ok, do yah hear the violins???
No its not a cry of "woe is single ol' bo-beep me" ... far from it. Its a realization that there is a love so deep within that hasn't been touched, I'm ready to give it all *gasp* ... yes I've said it. I'm ready to give it all. No charades, no what-ifs, no rules and regulations, no more pragmatic ways of what it SHOULD be.
I want it to be timeless and limitless.
But with all the chaos of everyday hustle and bustle of what I want and where I want to be and what its taking for ME to get there, has me running a race against self that I'm not leaving pace for anyone to catch up... I need to slow down to the speed of love ... Mr. Bailey, I hear you...so loud that my ears are throbbing. Or is it my heart pounding so hard its sounding in my ear?
Dr. Bailey listed 8 guidelines of timeless love and I read it everyday: I'll share them with you if I must
1. You are the love that you seek - look within (he is there)
2. Love can only be found in the present moment (he is here)
3. Listen deeply to yourself and others (he speaks to me)
4. Recognize that we all live in a though-created separate reality (he exists in me)
5. Be aware of your true feelings and emotions as a guidance system (he guides me)
6. Learn to speak from the heart rather than the intellect (he is my native tongue)
7. Understand how to let go of the past, through the art of forgiveness (he heals me)
8. Transform conflict into wholehearted resolution. (he is my solution)
So, now that I've let you into the types of books I read to keep me grounded, I hope that I was able to help one of you find that courage to love and to forgive (if the need be) ... grudges and self imprisonments aren't wholesome...loving is so much more of a free spirited feeling.
Live and love ... for to love is living.
Every now and again my heart does this betrayal thing, to self. From all the trials and challenges, it develops this resilient courage to stand firm, shield itself from distortion and any chance of falling, again. And then without warning it does this catapult into mid air, soar, get giddy, tickle itself, smile at 'him' and then plunges head first...no, no, heart first into this fantasy of a possibility and I buckle and falter. What in Jesus' name is that about?
With the 'him', its something unexplainable so I don't blog about it...it'd pass on its own...I think. Honestly its more than but I can't put my finger on it that I just leave it alone.
Some time ago, I've read the book, "Slowing Down To The Speed of Love" by Joseph Bailey, M.A., L.P. I read it while coming out of a very heartbreaking situation. I never really label it as a relationship, for that would constitute boundaries and roles and I'm guessing at this point there wasn't any. However, there was something deep that needed forgiveness, or else I probably wouldn't have molded into the person "after" the issues exploded.
But I had to begin with me. The book is pretty much a tool to guide couples and individuals into what it takes to keep love alive. To look deep within themselves to forgive, and know what forgiveness is (as if the bible didn't explain it to us, but we can always use a reminder). I love the book. I look into its pages every time my heart does this circus act of somersaults and jabs whenever it feels the need to prove a point. The point that I too need that timeless love...as Bailey discusses in one of his chapters.
It is profound...the way he explained it. And with his description I clutched the page a bit harder and realized that I am missing something ... that person to share it with. I want to give it unconditionally, watch it continuously grow, watch insecurity fade in the backdrop, listen to him, talk with him deeply, from my heart and appreciate him in every moment as I would want him with me.
Ok, do yah hear the violins???
No its not a cry of "woe is single ol' bo-beep me" ... far from it. Its a realization that there is a love so deep within that hasn't been touched, I'm ready to give it all *gasp* ... yes I've said it. I'm ready to give it all. No charades, no what-ifs, no rules and regulations, no more pragmatic ways of what it SHOULD be.
I want it to be timeless and limitless.
But with all the chaos of everyday hustle and bustle of what I want and where I want to be and what its taking for ME to get there, has me running a race against self that I'm not leaving pace for anyone to catch up... I need to slow down to the speed of love ... Mr. Bailey, I hear you...so loud that my ears are throbbing. Or is it my heart pounding so hard its sounding in my ear?
Dr. Bailey listed 8 guidelines of timeless love and I read it everyday: I'll share them with you if I must
1. You are the love that you seek - look within (he is there)
2. Love can only be found in the present moment (he is here)
3. Listen deeply to yourself and others (he speaks to me)
4. Recognize that we all live in a though-created separate reality (he exists in me)
5. Be aware of your true feelings and emotions as a guidance system (he guides me)
6. Learn to speak from the heart rather than the intellect (he is my native tongue)
7. Understand how to let go of the past, through the art of forgiveness (he heals me)
8. Transform conflict into wholehearted resolution. (he is my solution)
So, now that I've let you into the types of books I read to keep me grounded, I hope that I was able to help one of you find that courage to love and to forgive (if the need be) ... grudges and self imprisonments aren't wholesome...loving is so much more of a free spirited feeling.
Live and love ... for to love is living.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
A Night of Poetry to Welcome the Fall @ Hibiscus Day Spa
A few months ago, the owners of Hibiscus Day Spa, a spa I frequent when time permits, asked me to do a reading for their clientele. I was honored.
They're famous to me for their sweet n spicy brown sugar scrub and now, here I am getting ready to be a feature at their spa.
I aim to please their customers ... the event info follows:
A Night of Poetry Reading
Hibiscus Day Spa welcomes the arrival of Fall, with A Night of Poetry by Onika Pascal. Ms. Pascal will be reading from her recent new volume “Collection of a See Through Soul - Bardvillian Symphonies”
About the Poet
Born in Trinidad, Pascalle Onika Lewis now resides in Brooklyn, New York, where she recently completed a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology at Medgar Evers College. Her first self-published book of poetry entitled, “Collections of a See Through Soul-Portraits,” written under the pen name of Onika Pascal, debuted in 2008 and her more recent Symphonies”. Since then, she has been working on many projects, including a novel titled, “On the Eve of Goodbye” and a memoir titled, “Becoming More Than Just An Orange.” Pascal’s talent of turning words into phenomenal stories and pieces of art is one that is infectious.
Where: Hibiscus Day Spa
When: November 7th, 2009
Time: 6 to 9 pm
To R.S.V.P for this event, please call us at 718.573.0831
A light refreshment will be served
I hope to see a lot of folks there ... I'M READY
They're famous to me for their sweet n spicy brown sugar scrub and now, here I am getting ready to be a feature at their spa.
I aim to please their customers ... the event info follows:
A Night of Poetry Reading
Hibiscus Day Spa welcomes the arrival of Fall, with A Night of Poetry by Onika Pascal. Ms. Pascal will be reading from her recent new volume “Collection of a See Through Soul - Bardvillian Symphonies”
About the Poet
Born in Trinidad, Pascalle Onika Lewis now resides in Brooklyn, New York, where she recently completed a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology at Medgar Evers College. Her first self-published book of poetry entitled, “Collections of a See Through Soul-Portraits,” written under the pen name of Onika Pascal, debuted in 2008 and her more recent Symphonies”. Since then, she has been working on many projects, including a novel titled, “On the Eve of Goodbye” and a memoir titled, “Becoming More Than Just An Orange.” Pascal’s talent of turning words into phenomenal stories and pieces of art is one that is infectious.
Where: Hibiscus Day Spa
When: November 7th, 2009
Time: 6 to 9 pm
To R.S.V.P for this event, please call us at 718.573.0831
A light refreshment will be served
I hope to see a lot of folks there ... I'M READY
Thursday, October 15, 2009
When its right to write ... on the brink of NaNoWriMo
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I don't have the time to write, and lazy on given days, I don't feel to write.
I'm a new twitterer (new word from the twittersphere) and every now and again I come across a tweet that's loaded with links and information. You follow the right people, you'd get the right topics with your concerns.
A few weeks ago I tweeted to authors I follow, as to how they manage time for writing with other demands in their daily lives. Got a productive response from Carleen Brice (author of "Children of the Water" and "Orange Mint and Honey") and from that response, I have began allotting the deserved time for my writing. Its a matter of dedication.
Today I came across a tweeted link that belongs to the blog page of Allison Wells at . This article provided me with a new conviction...that a writer can write at any time and any place. Though I'm not a big fan of Freud My favorite part of the article was "remember and record your dreams". I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt my words and wake up out of my sleep to write them down. I thought I was developing some type of disorder. But by the end of the week, when I piece together those random dream-thoughts, I can create a paragraph, which can lead into a page...and so on and so on.
WRITING...WORDS...amazing ...who wouldn't???
I'm taking this bit of information and anticipate NaNoWriMo ... the reason my first novel became fully fleshed into 245 pages. I charge on to developing novel #2
Stay tuned to my writing journey for the month of November.
I'm a new twitterer (new word from the twittersphere) and every now and again I come across a tweet that's loaded with links and information. You follow the right people, you'd get the right topics with your concerns.
A few weeks ago I tweeted to authors I follow, as to how they manage time for writing with other demands in their daily lives. Got a productive response from Carleen Brice (author of "Children of the Water" and "Orange Mint and Honey") and from that response, I have began allotting the deserved time for my writing. Its a matter of dedication.
Today I came across a tweeted link that belongs to the blog page of Allison Wells at . This article provided me with a new conviction...that a writer can write at any time and any place. Though I'm not a big fan of Freud My favorite part of the article was "remember and record your dreams". I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt my words and wake up out of my sleep to write them down. I thought I was developing some type of disorder. But by the end of the week, when I piece together those random dream-thoughts, I can create a paragraph, which can lead into a page...and so on and so on.
WRITING...WORDS...amazing ...who wouldn't???
I'm taking this bit of information and anticipate NaNoWriMo ... the reason my first novel became fully fleshed into 245 pages. I charge on to developing novel #2
Stay tuned to my writing journey for the month of November.
The Icing on The Cake
Women find comfort in just about the menial things in life. As long as it brings comfort we're sold. My blogs are taking a turn of content. Well more so, addition to its content. Aside from my see through soul, and the guest bloggers that I showcase, I'm going to post interviews with other mom's who are shining THEIR see through soul as well. These interviews are true to life, showcasing the journeys they each go through to accomplish their dreams. My mission: to uplift, empower and encourage ... our dreams need not be deferred; but nurtured as intended:
When I met Latoya, it was in the kitchen at my dear friend Vivian's home(how ironic is that?). She had just come in from DC and made it in time to help us all send Vivian's son off to the army. A somber moment, but Latoya was instantly infectious. Hilarious, smart mouthed, and most of all...a poet. She writes. Like I.
Latoya Snell aka Alter Ego, was actually the person who introduced me into the open mic arena. And from that moment on, my poetic journey is history in the making...or baking :)
I decided to interview Latoya because I'm taking my blog on a new journey. As with my guest blogs, I want to take the time to shine light on the mothers, singled or, coupled, who are holding their own into make a dream realized.
Aside from whipping words into a literary masterpiece for your reading pleasure, this wife and mother of one has a whole new face. She bakes. More than words this time, her cake monologues caught my eye... and my appetite... and I just had to share her with you.
I introduce Latoya S. Snell, Pastry Chef and owner of The Cake Monologues, located in the Heart of Bedford Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, NY. PLEASE VISIT HER WEBSITE ...www.thecakemonologues.com FOR MORE IN HER GALLERY AND TO PLACE ORDERS IF NEED BE
Tell my readers a little about yourself: background / education in baking (or just a hobby that you've perfected)
My name is Latoya Snell and currently 24 years old. I’ve been happily married for 2 ½ years and counting to a wonderful husband, W. Eric Snell, Sr. and we have a namesake whose 2 years old going on 26 who we affectionately call E.J.
I’ve struggled since leaving high school on what I wanted to do, which led me into a whopping six different majors at two different colleges and unfortunately no degree to show for it. Perhaps, some would call me indecisive for that but it was a hard lesson learned on not knowing the definition of advice. I followed the advice of some who advised to me to work in a “secure position” and in turn, I went into majors such as Business, Accounting & Physical Therapy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with these careers but it wasn’t for me.
I went into Social Work after understanding this concept and did it for 3+ years in Non-for-Profit environments, along with 2+ years of Administrative duties but I’ve always been passionate about cooking and baking but as a hobby. A very close friend of mine went into a culinary school and shared her experience with me. Through her, I gained a deeper appreciation for it and slowly put my feet in.
Unfortunately, culinary schools, especially in New York City, can run as much as 30 to 40K for a six month program. I will not fake the funk with anyone during this recession and I sincerely cannot afford it. I learned the basics when I was younger though wonderful mentors, mostly from the older generation, trial and error techniques and definitely from my father. Between hearing my father’s lectures in my head about the proper way to do things, tricks picked up through the beautiful technology of YouTube, Internet pages and now Wilton Courses and such, I’m still learning new things daily.
To others, I may have or have not perfected it yet; to me, I don’t think the learning process ever ends. There’s always something out there we haven’t learned yet or given a second thought.
As a child, did you always like baking?
I loved baking when I was growing up! Some of my best memories are in the kitchen, mostly with my father, throwing out orders and driving everyone nuts with his favorite saying: “I’m tryna teach you sumthin…” He would follow up with “…just don’t listen!”
My mother, sister and I would sit in annoyance all for two minutes and everyone would laugh about it at the end of the day.
Baking is an art form of its own but the outcome is like poetry all on its own.
A baking poet; the irony behind this is jovial; what is it about the two forms of art that moves you?
Poetry and baking have a few things in common that I value dearly. Both can trigger some type of emotional response. Both can make you say, “…Oooh baby!” and then there’s moments when it could make you say, “Now, that’s just not right.”
Poetry and baking are its own unique art form and to see the smiles and conversations that spark from them are inspirational. It can make the most uptight or timid person break out of their own skin and that’s beautiful.
People inspire me, whether positively or negatively but that’s what gives me a mental high.
What are your favorite types of cake to bake; if you have a favorite?
Favorite cakes… ((smiling))
I’m trying to say this without sounding like I’m in dire need of an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting.
Well, there are several cakes that I love to make. There are two alcohol infused cakes in particular that I truly adore and is posted on my website, www.thecakemonologues.com ; one in particular, I named it Blood on the Baker’s Floor, where it’s a ménage a trios of Coffee Liqueur, Dark Rum & a strawberry/raspberry filling in a yellow sponge cake. The third liquor, Chambord in particular, is sprinkled on the cake and I make an outer butter cream pureed with fresh strawberries or a simple French vanilla butter cream. It’s decorated with other strawberries that are soaked or injected with Chambord or chocolate. It’s simply divine.
My second favorite is a tossup between The Twisted M&M & the Yani-Pooh Cake. The Twisted M&M is a chocolate cake made with Kahlua, Vodka, Bailey’s Irish Cream & Godiva Liqueur with flaked chocolate and M&M pieces.
The Yani-Pooh is a simple Bailey Irish Cream Chocolate Cake.
As far as non-alcohol infused cakes would have to be the Banana Puddin’ Cake or the Carrot Cake.
What mood are you in when you bake? Write? What inspires you to create?
I put myself in a relaxed state because baking can be very tedious. Being precise with your measurements, making sure your oven is calibrated correctly, clearing the adequate space and all that jazz can get a person’s nerves rattled if you are not up for the challenge.
My routine is to put on my IPod, something soothing like Maxwell, Luther Vandross or Prince, clear my space and start pulling out everything that I need. My son is usually here and I either keep him in the kitchen with me, which is a task all on its own or keep my mood mellow for the both of us. I entertain new challenges. Something about not knowing the outcome for the first time is great to me.
Writing is a tool that I use to empty out my thoughts. My woes, my joys and all of the in between are dedicated to that time. Sometimes, I will write, read it once and never touch it again and there’s times where I say to myself that I have to go back.
Creating new things, whether it’s writing, baking or simply embracing life is a necessary for me. If nobody thought outside of the box, then we would never evolve. Sometimes, we need that spark of creativity to keep life interesting. If my hands were taken away from me tomorrow, as disgusting as this sounds, I would be finding out new ways to use my feet to make things…but only for myself at this point!
Though you take your work seriously, what we love to do can also be fun. And I must ask, what is the funniest thing you've ever done while baking?
I had a couple of people over my house a month after I had surgery this year. Out of complete boredom, I wanted to create a cake. Two of my friends were perusing through my liquor collection and bartender’s guide book. One of them suggested that they would pull out three random bottles and I have to use it in the cake with no measuring cups and make it taste interesting. I baked the cake and saw a perfectly constructed hole in the center of my cake. It’s something that happens when cake is over mixed or too much liquid. The shape literally looked like a broken penis. (Yes, I have adolescent like humor) and we decided to color it in.
The recipe surprisingly is one of my favorite cakes, Blood on the Baker’s Floor. One of the best boredom cakes I’ve ever made…well, in my opinion.
I personally am not a cooker...I will if I HAVE to but I'm not going to go in willingly lol. Are you an all around cook or simply a baking perfectionist?
I’m an all around cook with a big heart for baking. It’s nothing like taking an original recipe and making it your own. I LOVE to
Like I said, I'm no true to form cook, I make pancakes and every time read the directions from the back of the box. So, for your babies, your cakes, which do you prefer, from the box or from scratch?
Definitely from scratch!
There are some people who can work magic out of a box cake. If I took the time, maybe I’d be one of those people but I sincerely appreciate the taste in a scratch cake.
Both sides of my family are hearty Southern folks who love their scratch recipes. When I first started baking cakes as a teenager, I didn’t mind the taste of a box cake but when I was pregnant with my son, Eric, I could taste EVERYTHING. It changed my perception on food as a whole.
As a child, I couldn't wait to lick the bowl at the end; do you give your son that pleasure?
My child robs that opportunity every moment that he gets a chance and I’m not looking. He’s so stealthy with his tactics, especially for a two year old. There are times where I’ll watch in amazement of what he will climb on to get to a mixing bowl. If he sees a bowl that I’m mixing anything in, his favorite phrase is “Cake…Pleeeese!” I don’t deny him unless I feel like he’s going overboard. Considering that I’m using raw eggs, I can’t take too many chances on him being that a child’s digestive system is so fragile.
My readers are of a diverse group. Eating styles vary. So I ask, do you bake vegan / organic?
I have done both. Personally, I don’t discriminate on whether it’s vegan friendly, organic or factory created products. I don’t particularly like all of the hormones that companies use to create their products but try my hardest to stick with the same brands. Counting my blessings, I love the turn out on the ingredients that I use but I respect my customer’s requests and beliefs.
And there you have it. The truth behind The Cake Monologues. I don't know about you guys, but I'm craving a slice of the Yani-Pooh Cake
Latoya, here's to wishing you tons of success on your journey, let your "sweet" dream take you far and beyond.
Thank you for sharing your "See Through Soul" with my readers.
When I met Latoya, it was in the kitchen at my dear friend Vivian's home(how ironic is that?). She had just come in from DC and made it in time to help us all send Vivian's son off to the army. A somber moment, but Latoya was instantly infectious. Hilarious, smart mouthed, and most of all...a poet. She writes. Like I.
Latoya Snell aka Alter Ego, was actually the person who introduced me into the open mic arena. And from that moment on, my poetic journey is history in the making...or baking :)
I decided to interview Latoya because I'm taking my blog on a new journey. As with my guest blogs, I want to take the time to shine light on the mothers, singled or, coupled, who are holding their own into make a dream realized.
Aside from whipping words into a literary masterpiece for your reading pleasure, this wife and mother of one has a whole new face. She bakes. More than words this time, her cake monologues caught my eye... and my appetite... and I just had to share her with you.
I introduce Latoya S. Snell, Pastry Chef and owner of The Cake Monologues, located in the Heart of Bedford Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, NY. PLEASE VISIT HER WEBSITE ...www.thecakemonologues.com FOR MORE IN HER GALLERY AND TO PLACE ORDERS IF NEED BE
Tell my readers a little about yourself: background / education in baking (or just a hobby that you've perfected)
My name is Latoya Snell and currently 24 years old. I’ve been happily married for 2 ½ years and counting to a wonderful husband, W. Eric Snell, Sr. and we have a namesake whose 2 years old going on 26 who we affectionately call E.J.
I’ve struggled since leaving high school on what I wanted to do, which led me into a whopping six different majors at two different colleges and unfortunately no degree to show for it. Perhaps, some would call me indecisive for that but it was a hard lesson learned on not knowing the definition of advice. I followed the advice of some who advised to me to work in a “secure position” and in turn, I went into majors such as Business, Accounting & Physical Therapy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with these careers but it wasn’t for me.
I went into Social Work after understanding this concept and did it for 3+ years in Non-for-Profit environments, along with 2+ years of Administrative duties but I’ve always been passionate about cooking and baking but as a hobby. A very close friend of mine went into a culinary school and shared her experience with me. Through her, I gained a deeper appreciation for it and slowly put my feet in.
Unfortunately, culinary schools, especially in New York City, can run as much as 30 to 40K for a six month program. I will not fake the funk with anyone during this recession and I sincerely cannot afford it. I learned the basics when I was younger though wonderful mentors, mostly from the older generation, trial and error techniques and definitely from my father. Between hearing my father’s lectures in my head about the proper way to do things, tricks picked up through the beautiful technology of YouTube, Internet pages and now Wilton Courses and such, I’m still learning new things daily.
To others, I may have or have not perfected it yet; to me, I don’t think the learning process ever ends. There’s always something out there we haven’t learned yet or given a second thought.
As a child, did you always like baking?
I loved baking when I was growing up! Some of my best memories are in the kitchen, mostly with my father, throwing out orders and driving everyone nuts with his favorite saying: “I’m tryna teach you sumthin…” He would follow up with “…just don’t listen!”
My mother, sister and I would sit in annoyance all for two minutes and everyone would laugh about it at the end of the day.
Baking is an art form of its own but the outcome is like poetry all on its own.
A baking poet; the irony behind this is jovial; what is it about the two forms of art that moves you?
Poetry and baking have a few things in common that I value dearly. Both can trigger some type of emotional response. Both can make you say, “…Oooh baby!” and then there’s moments when it could make you say, “Now, that’s just not right.”
Poetry and baking are its own unique art form and to see the smiles and conversations that spark from them are inspirational. It can make the most uptight or timid person break out of their own skin and that’s beautiful.
People inspire me, whether positively or negatively but that’s what gives me a mental high.
What are your favorite types of cake to bake; if you have a favorite?
Favorite cakes… ((smiling))
I’m trying to say this without sounding like I’m in dire need of an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting.
Well, there are several cakes that I love to make. There are two alcohol infused cakes in particular that I truly adore and is posted on my website, www.thecakemonologues.com ; one in particular, I named it Blood on the Baker’s Floor, where it’s a ménage a trios of Coffee Liqueur, Dark Rum & a strawberry/raspberry filling in a yellow sponge cake. The third liquor, Chambord in particular, is sprinkled on the cake and I make an outer butter cream pureed with fresh strawberries or a simple French vanilla butter cream. It’s decorated with other strawberries that are soaked or injected with Chambord or chocolate. It’s simply divine.
My second favorite is a tossup between The Twisted M&M & the Yani-Pooh Cake. The Twisted M&M is a chocolate cake made with Kahlua, Vodka, Bailey’s Irish Cream & Godiva Liqueur with flaked chocolate and M&M pieces.
The Yani-Pooh is a simple Bailey Irish Cream Chocolate Cake.
As far as non-alcohol infused cakes would have to be the Banana Puddin’ Cake or the Carrot Cake.
What mood are you in when you bake? Write? What inspires you to create?
I put myself in a relaxed state because baking can be very tedious. Being precise with your measurements, making sure your oven is calibrated correctly, clearing the adequate space and all that jazz can get a person’s nerves rattled if you are not up for the challenge.
My routine is to put on my IPod, something soothing like Maxwell, Luther Vandross or Prince, clear my space and start pulling out everything that I need. My son is usually here and I either keep him in the kitchen with me, which is a task all on its own or keep my mood mellow for the both of us. I entertain new challenges. Something about not knowing the outcome for the first time is great to me.
Writing is a tool that I use to empty out my thoughts. My woes, my joys and all of the in between are dedicated to that time. Sometimes, I will write, read it once and never touch it again and there’s times where I say to myself that I have to go back.
Creating new things, whether it’s writing, baking or simply embracing life is a necessary for me. If nobody thought outside of the box, then we would never evolve. Sometimes, we need that spark of creativity to keep life interesting. If my hands were taken away from me tomorrow, as disgusting as this sounds, I would be finding out new ways to use my feet to make things…but only for myself at this point!
Though you take your work seriously, what we love to do can also be fun. And I must ask, what is the funniest thing you've ever done while baking?
I had a couple of people over my house a month after I had surgery this year. Out of complete boredom, I wanted to create a cake. Two of my friends were perusing through my liquor collection and bartender’s guide book. One of them suggested that they would pull out three random bottles and I have to use it in the cake with no measuring cups and make it taste interesting. I baked the cake and saw a perfectly constructed hole in the center of my cake. It’s something that happens when cake is over mixed or too much liquid. The shape literally looked like a broken penis. (Yes, I have adolescent like humor) and we decided to color it in.
The recipe surprisingly is one of my favorite cakes, Blood on the Baker’s Floor. One of the best boredom cakes I’ve ever made…well, in my opinion.
I personally am not a cooker...I will if I HAVE to but I'm not going to go in willingly lol. Are you an all around cook or simply a baking perfectionist?
I’m an all around cook with a big heart for baking. It’s nothing like taking an original recipe and making it your own. I LOVE to
Like I said, I'm no true to form cook, I make pancakes and every time read the directions from the back of the box. So, for your babies, your cakes, which do you prefer, from the box or from scratch?
Definitely from scratch!
There are some people who can work magic out of a box cake. If I took the time, maybe I’d be one of those people but I sincerely appreciate the taste in a scratch cake.
Both sides of my family are hearty Southern folks who love their scratch recipes. When I first started baking cakes as a teenager, I didn’t mind the taste of a box cake but when I was pregnant with my son, Eric, I could taste EVERYTHING. It changed my perception on food as a whole.
As a child, I couldn't wait to lick the bowl at the end; do you give your son that pleasure?
My child robs that opportunity every moment that he gets a chance and I’m not looking. He’s so stealthy with his tactics, especially for a two year old. There are times where I’ll watch in amazement of what he will climb on to get to a mixing bowl. If he sees a bowl that I’m mixing anything in, his favorite phrase is “Cake…Pleeeese!” I don’t deny him unless I feel like he’s going overboard. Considering that I’m using raw eggs, I can’t take too many chances on him being that a child’s digestive system is so fragile.
My readers are of a diverse group. Eating styles vary. So I ask, do you bake vegan / organic?
I have done both. Personally, I don’t discriminate on whether it’s vegan friendly, organic or factory created products. I don’t particularly like all of the hormones that companies use to create their products but try my hardest to stick with the same brands. Counting my blessings, I love the turn out on the ingredients that I use but I respect my customer’s requests and beliefs.
And there you have it. The truth behind The Cake Monologues. I don't know about you guys, but I'm craving a slice of the Yani-Pooh Cake
Latoya, here's to wishing you tons of success on your journey, let your "sweet" dream take you far and beyond.
Thank you for sharing your "See Through Soul" with my readers.
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